Avoiding Responsibility

We all do it, don't we? Hell, I'm avoiding responsibility right now (I'm actually avoiding just doing anything). This is what I am avoiding doing just now. 


- clothes on the floor need picked up... two second job? But I don't want to get up.
- university psychology coursework needs to be done... when is that due again? Oh yeah, 10th November, plenty of time (Um, not really).
- Spoken presentation on the 15th November... less I think about that the better. 


You see here is my problem, I just avoid doing all these things until it gets to the point I absolutely have to do them. Let's take at the moment, the presentation. I hate speaking in front of people, I hate it so much. I used to freak out when I had to do it in school, went bright red, fiddled with my cardigan and my face, spoke so quietly I had to be asked to speak up, things like that. I just can't do it. 


And at the same time I feel like, why the hell should I do it? It's not as though I will be doing it in my line of work, I want to be a clinical psychologist not a teacher. 

No. No. No. 

I've never been good at speaking in front of an audience, never, unless it's something I feel I really really know. Like if I was doing say... something I know really well, like my friends, or something to do with Shetland, where I'm from. It would be so much easier, but no I have to do it on this: Does Psychology Make Driving Safer?

I HAVE NO IDEA IF IT DOES OKAY?! Ugh, it's so terrifying. But I'm going to have to. 

But here's the issue, I don't want to do the presentation, the very idea of it right now is making me break out in a little bit of a cold sweat, which I know is really stupid and silly of me, but I can't help it. So in the end what I do is I try not to think about it. 

If I don't think about it, it won't happen. So I lull myself into a false sense of security that it's not happening la la la la I don't need to worry I can just sit and play games on my computer all the time, that's fine. 

YAY SIMS I CAN FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE

Until eventually, say the day before the presentation is due and my bubble snaps and suddenly I realise HOLY SHIT I HAVE A PRESENTATION THAT I HAVE TO DO AT PRECISELY 11.15AM TOMORROW IN FRONT OF TEN OTHER PEOPLE AND I'M NOT PREPARED AT ALL. And I end up practically ripping my hair out and freaking out so much I can't actually do it. 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That would be a totally accurate drawing of me under stress, totally, totally accurate. Tears heading off in all directions and then I just end up a crumpled mess on the floor surrounded by paper and empty diet coke cans, crying. This is pretty much how I will be exactly a week from now. Just wait and see. 


What about you? Do you avoid responsibility the same way I do? Or are you one of those people who is just able to get on with things and well... not be lazy like I am. Let me know in the comments below (: And I mean you. I see you in my Statcounter, reading my blog and not giving me any feedback. I WANT FEEDBACK.