Elephant Person

Dear Elephant Person


I have nicknamed you so because when you walk down the communal flights of stairs in my flat building, you do it so loudly and so heavily that the building shudders and on many occasions I have wondered whether you are multiple people, or indeed, an elephant. 


In fact when I hear you, above me coming down the top flight of stairs a sense of dread fills me as slowly the flat building beings to shudder, I am beginning to wonder if all the cracks in the building may have been caused by you, an elephant-sized occupant of the building. Really, is there any need to come down a flight of stairs that heavily? Surely one person cannot be that heavy footed, really?!


It never fails to astound me how every time, every time you always make the building shake and shudder and I am sure I'm not the only person who feels this way. 


Oh Elephant Person please, please for the sake of my sanity just walk down the stairs a little slower, it is not difficult. I do it all the time. 


Sincerely, 


Sarah C (Flat 8)