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26 October 2010

How To... Irritate Me

In case you are ever looking to try and annoy me, or make me angry with you, here are some very easy, very simple ways to do it. Although unless you are a close family member or a best friend then chances are I am not going to do anything about it except be angry on the inside. I find it difficult to show my anger easily, I hate confrontation. So my excuse for those close to me is that if I am comfortable enough to be angry around you then I really love you. It's totally a compliment, really.



Chew Really Loudly
My boyfriend actually managed to make it sound like he is literally chewing gravel, I don't know how he does it but some people just have a knack at chewing so loudly it sounds like they much be crunching their teeth together or something. It's annoying, I will make all of your foods liquids if you continue.


Flush With the Lid Up
Right this is a totally legitimate thing here, I hate, hate when people flush the toilet with the lid up, I can't stand it. Nobody should do this. When a toilet is flushed it sends up six feet of fine spray into the air, if the lid is up that is. Do you keep a toothbrush in your bathroom? Do you want someone elses excrement going all over the toothbrush? I didn't think so, lid down thanks. 


Whistling
I can't whistle, don't whistle around me you are totally showing off this awesome skill I will never be able to experience, because no matter how hard I try, I just cannot whistle. It annoys me when I hear people doing something I know I will never be able to do. ):


Show up late to meet me
I hate this because chances are I will have made it so I am early to meet you, so when you come half an hour late and only tell me five minutes before hand when I am sitting there like a total prat waiting for you, then I am not happy and not impressed, no, not funny mister. I will be sitting there with my arms folded glaring at you when you arrive. This is not a nice way to begin an afternoon.


Be The Most Annoying Person In The World. Ever.
Okay I couldn't even think of a proper title for this one because it is so annoying. People who post facebook updates like 'life is so shit right now ):' and then if you ask what's up, they say 'oh I can't tell you'. NO. Do not post something on a public social networking website, if you cannot elaborate, do not attention seek. It has to be one of the most unattractive qualities in a person ever. These tend to be the same people who get drunk from looking at an alcopop, and display other attention seeking attributes. 


"OMG THAT HAPPENED TO ME ONLY WORSE"
I hate people who feel the need to 'top' every single story you tell them. They feel the need to interrupt you during any sentence for the simple reason that they clearly think so highly of themselves that anything they say has to be SO much more interesting than anything you are saying, and when you say something like "Oh actually, I've been ill this week." They come out with "MY ARM FELL OFF" or something like that. Just don't bother, it's not impressive. Unless your arm actually fell off, then oopsie. 




That above is actually only a taster on how to irritate me, so that would put you in good steed for putting me in a bad mood, maybe I'll post a second part about it sometime. 


In other news my sleeping pattern is totally messed up, I need to get this sorted as soon as possible, which is why I have stayed up all night tonight in order to try and fix it in some sort of nonsensical way. But it makes sense to me. 



Oh here you go Technorati don't freak out on me. T8XTVR6MX8EN




EDIT//I love that in the email Technorati send, they literally use the words 'we have crawled through your blog', as if it's such a chore. Don't offer a service if you're going to complain Technorati!

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