My Experience With Presentations

So as I have previously mentioned on this blog, I'm not the worlds best person when it comes to presentations, in fact, I'm really quite terrible with them. My problem is that I work myself up so much about them, that it's easier just to not think about it, and pretend that absolutely nothing is happening, pretend that I don't have to get up and stand and talk about things in front of people for a while. 


This is kind of what that goes like:

Not pictured: Studying

Anyway, so I sit around in happy-la-la-land for about a month or so before something snaps and I end up sitting up for most of the night cursing myself and frantically trying to do something worthwhile for my presentation. The presentation for my university course wasn't the first presentation or talk I have ever had to give. 

Here are some of my experiences that go way back... 

I remember doing one in Primary 7, to the whole class, on polar bears. And it was okay, I was really nervous but it was okay, I had a big piece of cardboard paper with pictures for people to look at. And back then seemed to be before my cycle of denial began.

But then in Secondary 1 or 2, I can't remember which, we had to give a talk to the class on something like our favourite holiday or something. I can't remember. And I was terrified, I convinced myself I could wing it, as long as I didn't think about it, I would be okay. 

I forgot though that I was quite terrified of certain social situations, one of them being standing up and having over twenty of your peers (who you don't know that well and probably don't like you anyway) staring at you and waiting for you to say something worthwhile, is at the top of that list. 

And I was awful, she picked me first or second, I was definitely at the very start anyway and I got up and slowly walked my way to the front of the classroom, wanting to die. I stuttered and stammered, went bright red and kept fidgeting with the cords on my cardigan, before finally I could go and sit down and pretend I didn't need any friends - since I definitely wasn't going to have any now. 

I remained terrified but knowing I was going to have to come across talks again in the future and in 3rd and 4th year I did, but the teacher did them in a way that meant we could do them in little groups of 3 or 4 outside of the classroom, and sitting down, so we didn't need to stand up and present it. Which I found much nicer and easier to deal with. 

But as the years passed my aversion to presentations got worse and I did as much as I could to avoid them altogether.

But my degree is very important to me, without my degree I can't do my chosen career and without that then I will never feel any self-worth. I'm a very career orientated person. 

So I was going to have to do this presentation, whether I wanted to or not. So eventually when I was at about 3 days till the presentation it hit me I had a presentation to do and dammit it was important. I decided I no longer needed to sleep and just stayed up all night revising, and reading books called Automotive Ergonomics. 

And then I did it. I did the presentation, I didn't want to but I did, and when my lecturer told me what I got I was practically blown off my feet. 95%! How crazy is that? 

So I had a celebratory day off uni work and spent the day in bed. They are my favourite kind of days.... 

I'm in heaven now.